D3 body, D1 cock
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize