so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize