kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize