Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
No more Irish car bombs ever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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