oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
