dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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