Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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