tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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