I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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