Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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