I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
