Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
