considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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