there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
