Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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