She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
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She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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