Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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