Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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