you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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