I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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