Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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