I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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