Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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