what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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