I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
