i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
