I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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