he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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