So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
