would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
