You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
