Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
