The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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