He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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