we're chasing vodka with high fives
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize