the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
