i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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