I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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