he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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