i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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