how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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