i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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