The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My dick has a subreddit
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
