So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
