I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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