Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
