i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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