Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize