you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
third nipple confirmed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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