remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize