My friends, they love my intelligence
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize