i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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