remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
