Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Randomize
