Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
is it fun? or sober?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
