Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i wish starbucks made bloody marys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): i wish starbucks made bloody marys http://tfl.nu/p9ip
  Replies (21) Good night (3952) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state. http://tfl.nu/piph
  Replies (17) Good night (515) Bad night (3138)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas http://tfl.nu/bksv
  Replies (42) Good night (4701) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him? http://tfl.nu/x011
  Replies (8) Good night (837) Bad night (3613)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/n7jh
  Replies (23) Good night (5612) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  If i need to get strippers involved i will.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): If i need to get strippers involved i will. http://tfl.nu/3tx8
  Replies (17) Good night (3339) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis? http://tfl.nu/t53m
  Replies (9) Good night (899) Bad night (1988)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working http://tfl.nu/2ufm
  Replies (5) Good night (1408) Bad night (3665)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else. http://tfl.nu/65tn
  Replies (1) Good night (1073) Bad night (2873)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/ygax
  Replies (3) Good night (1076) Bad night (1771)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless. http://tfl.nu/cdoe
  Replies (9) Good night (2981) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0
  Replies (3) Good night (1153) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore. (508): Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth http://tfl.nu/ay7w
  Replies (2) Good night (1630) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/qno1
  Replies (2) Good night (1028) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up http://tfl.nu/z2m0
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (330)

Randomize