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• (586): View more from Michigan

  if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.

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• (209): View more from California

  do you want me to make hamburgers?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i'm vegan

  (209): View more from California

  i'll put lettuce on them

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party

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• (716): View more from New York

  she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.

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• (626): View more from California

  While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.

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• (646): View more from New York

  I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men

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