Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL