Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
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ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
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There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10