Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
