she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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