She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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