I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
